Your Honor is not just a judge’s name

What about honor? Mine and yours specifically. What’s it good for? Is honor just a quaint, old fashioned notion that grandparents talk about the current generation not having?

There are lots of quotes about it. First, the proverb, “There’s no honor among thieves.” Also, “Nobody can acquire honor by doing what is wrong.” And the grand-daddy of them all, “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

In each quote, it’s referred to as something that is given or received. Nobody can wake up one morning and decide to have honor all on their own. Some people seek honor with a lot of energy (which often makes it harder to obtain), but it's still up to others to give it.

There are also lots of references to being honor-bound. I don't usually like being bound. What's up with that? What good does it do to have honor given to you if it is so restrictive? For those without any, it probably looks a lot like something to be hung over the heads of others. "If you scoundrels were only as honorable as me...."

It turns out that knowing what honor is good for comes right along with having it. The honorable also become a lot of other things at the same time. They're trustable. They're stable. They're predictable in the way they make many kinds of choices. Every one of these things come from the way we each choose to live. Being honor bound is a privilege people accept, not an obligation that controls us. We can choose to do honorable things and to live our lives within honorable limits. As we do so, others will see our example, and some may follow it.

I've noticed in a lot more detail lately that I could improve my own choices and actions. I could talk about others only when I have something constructive to say, and a good way to say it. I could listen to others better. More importantly, I could show a lot more honor toward others, since there are a lot of people out there who deserve it.

What about those who don't seem to care? Assume they might start caring. On one hand, explain why you think certain actions are a mistake. On the other, be sure to recognize all good choices. Honor and respect are powerful teaching tools. Anyone trying to change for the better is going to have a better time if the are honored for their successes, reinforcing their abilities and desires. I prefer to be offered carrots to being threatened with sticks, and I bet most people are the same way.

So how is your honor doing today?