What's left to live for?

Have you ever heard that statement from someone who's trashed their own life through bad choices? What's left to live for? Why bother? What difference does it make? Does anybody even care?

My sister-in-law has run off again in a fit of anger and depression. She's done that a few times now. She usually goes to a friend's place and blows her cash and her mind through drugs to numb the uncomfortable feelings of guilt, shame and regret that are trying to steer her toward recovery. This time is a little bit different. You see, she has two important court dates next week.

We've been compiling a list of her legal problems, and it's over two pages long now of unresolved cases, and resolved cases with outstanding fines. She's been collecting new charges regularly, and not resolving old ones very quickly. So, what indeed is there left to live for?

Shall we start with the simple things? She has four children who love her very much no matter what she does. Trust may be conditional, but a child's love usually isn't. She has a husband that at times would do anything at all for her (and has the jail record to prove it). How about a family that has bent over backwards for her more times than I can count, done what they think is best for her, and offered her a safe place to live if she can only keep a few rules? Note: What she wants and what is best are not always the same thing.

Let's move on to the next rank of things that are a bit less obvious. Some people (like me) have great faith in God. Are faith, repentance, redemption and salvation worth living for? I think so. What would you give up in exchange for eternal salvation? Would it be a lot of work? Yes, but it sounds like a pretty good trade to me.

Now for something obscure. How about trials? Are they worth living for? The answer is a lot more clear if you think about what life would be like without any trials or challenges. No growth. No experience. No sense of satisfaction for a difficult job well done. Some kids like to play video games with all the cheats turned on because it makes them feel tough to be invincible. Eventually most kids mature enough to realize that overcoming a real challenge with a chance of failure is much more rewarding, both in games and in real life. Life with too many challenges can be a disaster, but life with none would be an absolute and changeless hell.

Getting back to the problem at hand, is her massively screwed up life worth living? All she has to do to answer "yes" is to look at what she really has instead of dwelling on what she doesn't have. If she makes her court dates, she'll take some steps in the right direction. There are a lot of steps she can take in the right direction, not all of them terribly difficult once she overcomes one or two major challenges. If she misses her court dates, she'll freefall for a bit longer, have more warrants out, and possibly end up in jail or prison for a while before getting back to making progress.

Whichever way she goes, we'll be here living our normal day-to-day life, raising her children with ours, showing them the joys a good life can provide, challenges and all.