A Captive Audience

What do you tell someone when you absolutely know the message will arrive? Last week both parents of our kids-in-care were taken into custody on different charges after a court appearance. Now I know where they are, and can easily get a letter to each of them. But what do I write? I spent three days dwelling on that.

How about giving them advice? I couldn't think of a single thing I hadn't already said. They know all the advice, they've heard it, and quite often agree with it. Giving advice would be reduntant.

How about a good chewing out? I could write something that could peel the paint of even a jail's industrial cinderblock walls without even resorting to profanity. I could tell them all sorts of things about how I feel about their choices, lifestyle, friends, actions, and attitudes. Would it do them or me any good? Nope.

I was stumped. Then I read a report on a religious leadership conference that was held on February 10, 2007 in Salt Lake City. Two of the messages from that conference were about teaching. Finally, I had a theme that struck a chord with me. So what could I teach?

I'm not sure what the final step in the inspiration was, but I remembered the concept that thoughts lead to actions, actions lead to habits, habits lead to character, and character leads to destiny. Given that idea, what does everything hinge on? I decided to work backwards. If you know what you would like as a destiny, the rest can be determined from there until it all relies on thoughts.

With the letters I wrote, I already knew one of their biggest desires, to be a part of the lives of their children. From there, it all worked back to a matter of controlling their thoughts in order to get that result that they wanted. Controlling your thoughts is no easy task, but it's certainly easier than trying to address character, habits, and actions as well.

I have no idea how long they will each be in custody. It could range from days to months. It depends entirely on the court system, whatever plea deals they can work out, and availability of drug treatment programs. I've heard that being in jail can give you lots of time to sit and think. Hopefully I've given them each something to think about that will be more useful than dwelling on the effects of their enforced detox.