Searching for Answers
From the day I took four youngsters into my home I have been on a quest for answers. Since we did not go through a state agency we have been left to find these answers ourselves. What do you say to them when they want to know why they can’t live with mommy and daddy? What do you do when the parents tell the kids that they are going to be back together by Christmas…and have made little or no progress toward improving their situation? How do you know if they are making progress? What criteria do you give the parents in order to make that a reality? How do you deal with emotional issues with the children? If there are criminal charges, how do you know what is going on with those? How do you track that? The questions are numerous and varied.
I have spent hours and hours doing research to educate myself with all of these issues and more. I have learned a lot about the parents’ drug of choice. I have learned more about the judicial system and the ins and outs of that than I ever cared to know. There have also been hours looking for information on guardianship and custody issues. I am still looking.
Knowledge is power. It gives you the ability to make the best decisions. It allows you to understand the issues and the problems. When drug addicted parents try to tell you lies you will be better prepared to discern the truth.
There will be times, however, when the truth is just not available. Take heart. Time will tell. Be patient and all things will work out in the end.
3 comments:
Here's a good thing to be aware of in the "knowledge is power" category. Meth users almost always suffer rapid weight loss. If you suspect something is up, and you get a reply about having a thyroid condition, you're probably being fed a line that they learn in drug circles.
It only took rolling our eyes once or twice before that line stopped being trotted out. Your mileage may vary.
kelly - i, having worked in law enforcement, set up and turned my own sister and her parolee boyfriend in approximately 13 years ago - i did it on the sly with my best friend who worked for the local narc task force.
no one in my family knows it and would disown me if found out. but, the very best thing that came of it was - my sister and her b.f. eventually cleaned up their acts, got married and had another child.
my sister told me if she hadn't been busted and hit bottom, she may never have come out on this side. i still haven't told her what i did, but probably will one day.
much damage was done to her children during those dark years, but i couldn't just stand by and watch.
their entire family is better for having been found out and my conscience is clear with the Lord.
Sometimes we have to make those risks.
Fortunately, for us, we have the complete backing of our extended family. We are often on the phone with my sister's Probation officer to let him know what she is up to and where she might be found.
Kudos for what you did for you sister. I hope that if you do tell her what you did that she will (as will the rest of the family) be grateful and realize that it was for the best.
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