Who cares?
I mentioned previously how my wife's sister had run off to hide in a fit of anger or dispair, or whatever the excuse of the day was. Well, we found out this morning that she had come back, and was with her husband again at whatever friend's house they're visiting at the moment.
Her husband had called around looking for her last week, and to see if anyone had heard from her. At least he called to tell us he had no idea where she was and that she was missing. Neither of them ever tells us where they've run off to, so I don't know why he would expect us to know anything. We worried, but figured she would eventually show up again like she has previously. We also figured neither would bother to call us when she came back if past behavior held true.
Sure enough, we found out this morning that she's been back with her husband at least since yesterday. She called my wife to ask about visiting her children before going into a rehab program that they're trying to get into. That was our first indication that she was accounted for. My wife explained to her that when one of them runs off, please let everyone know when the runaway returns, so we can know to stop worrying.
Getting into an inpatient rehab may be able to keep court cases from turning back into warrants, which might explain their rush to try to get into a place tonight. Especially considering she slept in and missed her court date today. For those that don't know, excessive sleep is one of the signs of crashing after a meth high that can include several days straight with no sleep at all.
So the answer to the question in the title is that we care. The problem is that there's usually not much we can do except to track events and watch their lives progress like a slow-motion train wreck. Stephen R. Covey wrote in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that we should align our sphere of influence with our sphere of concern. That means simply that you should worry about what you can change, and not worry about the things you can't change. I sure hope we can do something that helps them change. I'm not ready to stop caring yet, and neither are their kids.
4 comments:
Meth....UUUUGGGHHHHHHH!
I know those symptoms oh so well. Let me see if I can guess some of the other traits in this recipe:
Extreme irrationality, with flickering anger that borders on insanity. Mix in a hyper-paranoia, and the inability to concentrate more than 2 minutes on anything other than finding the next deal. Throw in long doses of insonmia followed by sleeping for three straight days. Sprinkle in the near complete inability to hold a job, keep a car insured or meet, basically, any legal obligation at all. The biggest ingredient, though, are the complete changes of personality every time the addict is currently stoned. For a while, when they are down, they seem likable again, even maybe like the old person you knew before Meth came around. Then the next time you see them they are a complete stranger, exhibiting the traits I just went through.
Sound fairly familiar? I know these traits so well becaues I went to HS in "the Meth cradle" here in north Texas when Ice was just getting big. We had our house robbed because of it and watched a few of the neighbor kids grow up to be residents in the federal and state pens. Those that lived, at an rate. As I mentioned earlier, my brother recently kicked the habit at the relatively young age of 36. While I am fairly understanding as a person, Meth was one substance that I threatened to use physical violence over if I ever even saw that crap in my house. Meth isn't a "gateway" drug, Meth is the sound of the gates closing.
36...that is the age of my sister.
Yes, Meth is not a "gateway" drug...there is nothing that comes after it...only prison, death...or (if they are lucky) rehab and life.
meth is the ugliest thing to happen to a family. i've seen people come out of the ashes of it, but only after much was lost.
a very good, old friend of mine is a dope cop - she trains dope cops all over the country and specializes in how to handle children in dangerous meth lab busts. she's very dedicated. she's the one who helped my own sister out of the hell she was in when her children were small.
it doesn't end when the nightmare is over. the children had to grow up and go through their own "worthless" time in life and it's not been pretty, but at least my sister and her husband have accepted their part in the tragedies which sprang from their inadequacies.
This is one reason we are doing this blog. So many people are affected by drugs. It affects those who are around them and who care about them...and their children.
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