My Halo is held up by Horns

A couple things happen when people learn that I am raising three nieces and a nephew as well as my own five children. First they are amazed that I could do it. They feel that they could never do something like that. Then they tell me what a good person I am for taking them into my home.

In each response I shake my head. I have had friends who have taken total strangers into their homes through foster care and taken care of them as their own. I always said that I could never do that. It was one thing to take care of my own children day after day, but I was always glad when parents came to get their children after a day of just tending them.

I learned a valuable lesson about stewardship. When I was merely tending children for the day or a couple hours I did not have much control over the things they were taught when they were not with me. Parents do not always, in fact they rarely do, have the same set of rules as we might have.

While a child is under our temporary care we may have to remind them of the rules of our house. They may or may not like your rules and if they don’t, there isn’t much you can do about it.

The other thing about this is that you don’t have access to all their toys and other belongings. They are left to figure out how to keep themselves entertained with the things you have around your house.

When children come into your home to live rather than just to visit, a new world of authority opens up and discipline can be a lot easier. This is not to say that it is perfect…just easier. It took us a few weeks to establish a few ground rules, but once those rules were established and they felt that my home was their home, things got a lot easier to manage.

I have also developed a great response to those who think that I am so wonderful to take these children in. I have a halo and it is held up by horns.

To those on the outside I sometimes look like a saint. On the inside I am dealing with some youngsters who really want to live with their mom and dad, but because of the actions of those parents, cannot. There have been tantrums—not just from the children. There have been times when I have been overwhelmed when I didn’t have the answers. There were times when I really wanted to run away myself.

But there have also been times, many of them, when little rewards sneak up and give you a big hug. This morning I walked through my bedroom doorway and noticed a little note written by my five year old niece. She had written our names at the top alongside hers and said, “I love you two.” She had misspelled ‘love’, but what was written on her heart was spelled correctly.

Being the favorite aunt and being the worst aunt all in the same day is a lot of work. But the rewards for being favorite aunt far out weigh the heart ache of being the worst.