The Power of Information
Knowledge is power, as the saying goes. We are an information-based society. Having that information is the source of power, and controlling information properly is the way we wield that power.
Yes, I actually have a specific reason for bringing it up. My wife mentioned a councelor she met through the school. One of the things she learned is the sorts of information that children (and other family members) deal with most successfully when they hear from those who are in drug and legal trouble.
The problem is that parents that have been in and out of jail and rehab usually have a poor track record on meeting promises made to their kids. I'm sure you've heard several, if you're in the same situation we are. "I'm going to have the kids back by [insert holiday here]." "I'm never going to [insert illegal activity here] again!" "I have a great job lined up. I just need [insert unreasonable expectation here] before I can start."
The solution to the problem is to control the information flow to where they are encouraged to share the solid facts that cannot change, rather than the hopes and aspirations that have so often been dashed along with the emotional state of those who might still have believed them.
We've encouraged the parents of our kids-in-care that they should tell the kids what they have accomplished. What charges have been cleared up? Have they been working at a job? Have they kept a stable address for the past month? Did they pass their last drug test? Did they enjoy the last visit to see the kids? (Softball easy-answer items are great, and may occasionally be the only good news they have.)
The future can change rather ubruptly and not match plans, particularly in the world of warrants, jail, prison, custody cases and all that go with them. Any effort that can be spent concentrating on past successes can pay off with more effort in the future, which if all goes well will lead to more and bigger successes that can be described in past tense. That which has already succeeded cannot fail.
2 comments:
Hey guys.
I have recently added another teen-ager to my household. My son has been bringing her here in the deep of night so that we would not notice. Of course we noticed. She is not blood, but she is needy.
My wife and I recently approached her and her legal guardian about this situation. Her legal guardian is her grandfather, because her parents are just a piece of crap. My son loves her, but he is not the only one. The neighbor boy has been bringing her here because he trusts my son. Bless their hearts. Both of them. They love this little girl and she has worked her way into my heart as well. She needs help.
The grandfather agreed, and he is just heartbroken. That was one of the saddest things I have ever witnessed. So now we have another lost sheep here, and we need the prayers of all those that are like us.
Why do we do these things? I like to think that we do them because we are called. The reality is that we are stuck with a situation that we cannot deny. If God brings them to us, who are we to say no? Such as it is. The sadness is unspeakable, but yet the hope is greater than we can imagine.
God loves the weak, and that is what we are called to defend.
Good luck and God's blessings on your efforts. You hit it dead center with not being able to deny help we can give where it's truly needed.
When Kelly approached me about going to pick up three nieces and a nephew who needed our help, it wasn't to discuss options or to ask permission, but to tell me she'd be gone for a day to get them. :)
We can't always make life fair and normal, but we can give them our love and a much better shot at a good life.
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