Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Perspectives

There's nothing like a change of scenery to make you appreciate what you have. I'm on a business trip to Europe at the moment, and I've had a little time to see how people besides myself live. There are the folks who fly in first class who couldn't imagine taking a flight across the pond in coach, and there are people who feel lucky to have seen the inside of an airplane. There are people who live in apartment buildings, and those who can't imagine less than a house in the country. There are people who scrape by with two jobs, and there are people who are retired. There are people who have saved for a rainy day, and those who spend every penny as it arrives, if not before.

The funny part is that in each of these contrasts, I've picked two samples from near the middle of the spectrum even though they sound like they're really far apart. With our situation of raising children of my wife's sister, they're struggling to accomplish what they would like, and it's taking a toll on them emotionally. If there was one thing I'd like to give them, it's perspective.

Compared to the suburban family with 2.5 kids and a dog, they're having problems and life is really hard. Compared to where they were three or four years ago, they're doing fantastically well. They're not in jail, we know they're alive, and their kids can call them on the phone any time they want. They visit our house to see the kids, and meet with family on special occasions like holidays and birthdays.

Are things still tough? Of course. Depending on your own perspective, they'll likely be tougher than what you might consider to be "normal suburban" for the rest of our lives and theirs. But at some point we each need to figure out how to enjoy what we have as we work for something better, or we drive ourselves insane with regrets while missing the good things of life. Our problems can be seen as opportunities to do something, even if it's less than we had hoped for.

Does bringing back some Belgian chocolate make up for being gone for two and a half weeks so close to Christmas? It depends on your perspective to even decide that something needs to be made up for. Let's just enjoy the chocolate.

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