The Power of Information
Knowledge is power, as the saying goes. We are an information-based society. Having that information is the source of power, and controlling information properly is the way we wield that power.
Yes, I actually have a specific reason for bringing it up. My wife mentioned a councelor she met through the school. One of the things she learned is the sorts of information that children (and other family members) deal with most successfully when they hear from those who are in drug and legal trouble.
The problem is that parents that have been in and out of jail and rehab usually have a poor track record on meeting promises made to their kids. I'm sure you've heard several, if you're in the same situation we are. "I'm going to have the kids back by [insert holiday here]." "I'm never going to [insert illegal activity here] again!" "I have a great job lined up. I just need [insert unreasonable expectation here] before I can start."
The solution to the problem is to control the information flow to where they are encouraged to share the solid facts that cannot change, rather than the hopes and aspirations that have so often been dashed along with the emotional state of those who might still have believed them.
We've encouraged the parents of our kids-in-care that they should tell the kids what they have accomplished. What charges have been cleared up? Have they been working at a job? Have they kept a stable address for the past month? Did they pass their last drug test? Did they enjoy the last visit to see the kids? (Softball easy-answer items are great, and may occasionally be the only good news they have.)
The future can change rather ubruptly and not match plans, particularly in the world of warrants, jail, prison, custody cases and all that go with them. Any effort that can be spent concentrating on past successes can pay off with more effort in the future, which if all goes well will lead to more and bigger successes that can be described in past tense. That which has already succeeded cannot fail.
